Narcissism: Generation 'Me'

I just read an article by Sarah Kliff from Newsweek that provoked me to write about 'my narcissistic generation' that I am from. The generation of people that grew up with computers from birth and only think about me, myself and I. Our generation that is classified by many to be materialistic cry babies that are so infatuated with themselves that we stop and look in the mirror every chance we get. Or we are described as a heedless self-indulged generation of people who seek and want praise for every little thing we do, regardless of if it's taking a poop in the toilet at a young age or getting good grades on a report card. We seek the compliments and have no ends to our "self-love".


Now I personally would argue as well towards the fact that my generation is a narcissistic one, but as was noted by a close friend of mine, it depends on the definition of narcissism. Which one of the following definitions of narcissism are we using? 1) One is the clinical sense. And what I mean is the people who are very unhappy, deeply troubled human beings that have fragmented relationships, etc. So the actual mental illness known as Narcissism. 2) The second would be what most people would probably describe it as. Which is the exceptional self interest in oneself, the gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, or more specifically the excessive self-love or vanity that one has.. [I have also stumbled upon this definition as well] 3) Narcissist are strong, independent thinkers searching for unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, and the ideal love.

So which one of these definitions are we talking about because it changes quite a bit depending on what way you are looking through the tainted glass. Which kool-aid is being drank?

I think that we all are narcissistic according to the second definition, it just depends on what varying degree we are. Are you in total love with yourself and will do anything and everything in your power to reach your goal? (the ends justify the means) Meaning you will walk over anyone to reach your goal, regardless of who you crush along the way. Or are you the other way and the means justify the end?

Answering this question will simply answer the moral side of narcissism though. (Do you already agree that we all have a bit of "self-love" in us. Not to be confused with confidence.. haha) More specifically should we look at narcissism in a positive way or a negative way? And I think you need to look no further than the question I posed above about how you want to get to the end. It's all relative. Do you want to get their at someone else's expense or in a truthful, honest way? That's for you to decide.

Now definition number 3 above is looking at narcissism in a positive way. It's simply saying that you have a lot of confidence and care far above anything else (I'm implying here) how far you go and how well you fair in this world. Key word being "you" in that last sentence. I mean if you don't worry about you and where you are going in this world who will? Are we not taught to be independent and seek success?

Now back to the article in Newsweek.

This article is actually a great way to invoke an all out battle royal between generations. And it has more connections that link our generation to the one that raised us than Martha Stewart has associating her with cooking books. This is plainly obvious as this article has over 25+ pages worth of comments. And the comments are distributed evenly from the baby boomers to generation narcissism or also known as generation 'me' in this article.

I don't want to dig too much further into it as I don't want to skew your opinion either way, but more challenge you to read it and weigh in on the topic. (Link at the bottom) Because this topic can go a million ways, from where did this narcissism start? (We can trace this back to circa 1550's with the "Reformation of the Catholic Church/Protestant movement" if you like? I have to give Kudo's to my friend for pointing this out to me..) All the way to linking our parents to helping create us like this. I mean it creates quite the cognitive dissonance in your head when you call the very children, YOU YOURSELF raised, a bunch of princess partying, "I am special" coloring book, over confident ego-addled spoiled brats eh?

Here.... check it out yourself.

Come back and tell me what you think in the comments section.

Posted in: , , , , , , , , on Thursday, April 30, 2009 at at 3:09 PM 6 comments  

Crossroads

There will be a time in your life where you will be faced to make some huge decisions. Decisions so big that they are pretty much dictating the next 10 years or so of your life. And if they aren't dictating the next 10 years, they at least steering them heavily in one direction and severely narrowing down any decisions you will have to make after.


These decisions that you encounter are not like waking up and wondering what skirt you should wear in the morning or if your thong matches your bra and the fact that you hope your significant other will notice. They are even bigger than spending $1,000 on a plane ticket over the ocean vs. $2,000 on a down payment for your dream car.

These decisions are life altering. They will lay the groundwork for your future career and your future wife and kids. Maybe even for the rest of your life. (Just thinking about that gave me the shivers...) You won't make these types of decisions more than maybe 4-5 times in your life in my opinion so you most certainly don't want to screw them up.

You need to give yourself a lot of time to think about these things and weigh your options. You need to possibly create a silly pro/con list or try and weigh what is the most important to you. These decisions are never easy and can't be made overnight. No one can even help you, because if your friends and family do help you and sway your opinion then possibly you are doing it for the wrong reasons... You need to go down this path on your own, you need to be a bit selfish and think about what it is that you want. And then you start asking yourself if you even know? Do you?

Maybe you are even lucky enough and have multiple choices to make? And you know you would be extremely happy with any decision you make, thus making it even harder. I know some people will laugh and say, "well that should be easier then if you will be happy regardless.." But that's more part of your character and how you push through anything and make everything work and never look back on past decisions made. You can't look back anyways, you need to make this decision now and live with it, because you can't live in the past nor go back and change it in 3 years and start to think "what if?"

So I am posing the question to you. How do you go about making these crucial and life changing decisions? Is this girl the one for you...? I mean everything feels so right, she is beautiful smart and loves you. Or is this new job going to be a good fit? I mean the one you're in is great, so why change? Or maybe you are even faced with a decision of moving far away from everything familiar. This includes your best friends, your family and everything you know... Do you do it? Maybe you start to see my point...

How do you choose between 3 or more options when they all look extremely appealing? Maybe one of my female readers can give me some insight into how you decide between 3 extremely attractive males, all of which are relatively the same in size, shape and age. Basically molded into what you look for and want in a guy. These 3 guys only differ in small ways, like color of their skin and different jobs, yet all 3 have the same salary... Which guy do you choose? Is your heart up to the challenge of making the decision? Knowing full well that all 3 guys could be a perfect fit. But you can only have one. And after you choose and you later decide you made the wrong decision it's too late to go back and change. You have to live with it.

*the ticking clock from the series '24' is ticking in the background*
Can you choose?

Now that's just one example, but how do you make that decision, tell me what goes through your mind? What kind of questions are stumbling through your brain after reading this? Please leave a comment and tell me your secrets. I would love to hear them.. even if you are one of those readers who doesn't normally post, take the time and post on this topic.

Posted in: , , , on Tuesday, April 28, 2009 at at 10:15 AM 8 comments  

Girls: Unbelievable

What can a girl do to you? The list is near endless.. and actually it's a lot easier to start listing the things that they can't do to you. Err.. umm.. f*ck that's just as hard.


*takes a breath*

[Starts over]

Girls can knock you down and pick you back up faster than one of those dummy punching clowns you see at the carnival. They can be your best friend that you never want to let go of and that you can tell absolutely anything too... (outside of 'guy' only things of course, more on what those are later..) The one person you can trust anything to and you know that it will stay between you. Girls are heartwarming and will be the first ones to take care of you when you are sick and are acting like a 200 lb baby that can't take care of himself. Girls can be that awesome.

Now back to the dummy punching clown. These same girls can turn in an instant from nice to evil and then switch back before you blink. It's umm.. called... ahh... "getting your period".. I have seen girls that can rip your heart out and then laugh about it later. The type of girl who only uses you for all your worth and then moves on, all the while leaving you thinking she was 'the one'. Girls are utterly incredible at how you can think they are so sweet and then 4 months later you would rather shoot yourself than to utter 'her' name again..

But to be honest I didn't really want to talk about how crazy they can be but rather how it only takes one girl..

And what I mean by that is it only takes that one girl to really come along and knock you out for the count like Muhammad Ali standing over Joe Frazer. And this will only happen to most guys once in their entire lives. It's like seeing Haley's comet or witnessing something extremely rare. This girl comes without warning too, most likely when you least expect it, or when you are not ready and/or wishing she would come along. But it doesn't matter because it WILL happen and there is nothing you can do about it but embrace it and the fact that she even came into your life.

This girl will knock you on your ass and everything about her will have you craving for more. The first time she touches you, the first time she kisses you and the first time she... well umm you see where this is going.. All of these things will make your head spin and you will lose all ability to even think and function on your own, and you probably don't ever want to again when you meet her. This girl will make you regret every bad-mouthed remark you have made about the opposite gender and then some. It's incredible what she will do to you and how she will change your world.

Do you remember that "first love" feeling that you had once upon a dream? Well that will come back with this girl. You will resort to writing cute nothings to her at work or in text messages and everything else seems to stop. That feeling you never thought you would feel again will be knocking at the front door. And all the messed-up relationships you had prior to her will seem like they were worth it, because if they wouldn't have happened maybe you would have never met in the first place?

Either way I hope all of you have this feeling or this someone in your life that you can't, won't and will never let go of. In fact they might be in your life already and you just don't know it? These people in your life don't always have to be in the form of 'lovers' but can be best friends too. (like your buddies) These are the people you need to hang on to, because they are one-in-a-million and you need to treat them as such. (but don't make it too obvious) You will never find more than 2-8 or so of them in your entire life and if you do find more consider yourself extremely lucky. I know I haven't... but I keep searching. (What I mean by this last part if you actually know me in-person is more referring to the fact that I will continue to find more of these people and search them out, but that I am still young and I am not sure who will or won't stick in my life because I have found and lost so many people already in my life.. it gets hard to know who will be there through thick and thin.. I have been let down more times than I can count.. but I sure hope that out of all my friends, both girls and guys that I keep all of you. My core of friends is so strong and I love that, so don't leave ;) )

Just a random thought again..

'Till later....

Posted in: , , , , , , on Monday, April 27, 2009 at at 11:01 AM 6 comments  

Searching for a meaning...

What is the point? To be more specific, why are we doing whatever it is that we do? Are we trying to achieve some goal or are we simply content with what we are doing now? ..Or are we completely unsure?

People have midlife crises and start wondering what their life is all about and what is/was their goal this whole time. Or was there one at all besides get old, get married and have a few kids along the way? I have met far too many people in my life that seem to not have one. Not really have something they are striving for, but more just moving along.

I mean don't get me wrong, I live 100% in the moment, but I have a goal. I know where it is that I want to get to, and I know what I have to do to get there. But at the same time if you plan or live too much for in the future you let here and now fly by without really 'living' each and every day and that's probably not what you want to do either.

So what I really want to get at is what is your goal? And if you can't answer that or you don't really know you should take some time to sit down and figure it out. Take a timeout sometime and really be a bit 'selfish' and try and discover just what exactly you want to do with your life. And after you have sat down and figured out that goal I want you to do one more thing. FORGET IT! Now before you think I am crazy just listen. I want you to forget it and make it higher. For example if you want to be a manager of some company, why not up the goal to CEO? Or better yet, one day try and own that company or start your own. Just try and shoot a bit higher than you even think you are capable of. You will thank yourself later for doing this. So literally shoot for the stars.

This goal has to be something that isn't easily attainable either. It has to be a 'dream goal', and most crazy cool people that live awesome lives started out with these high dreams. And all they did was reach them. And now that they have reached them they have some of the most fulfilling lives in the world. Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Bill Joy, 'your name'... be the next guy/girl to reach a crazy goal or exceed it.

I mean really.... "Why not?"

Posted in: , , , , , , , on Saturday, April 25, 2009 at at 9:07 PM 2 comments  

People are fascinating

You put on your headphones and you start listening to your favorite music on your I-pod. Your running shoes are on and you are ready to go out to the park and get your 'run on' and get some exercise. I mean why not it's a beautiful day and the sun is shining.


But today is a bit different because the park you are about to run through is probably one of the most well known 'parks' in all of America. Yep you guessed it, "Central Park" in New York City.

This park is beautiful and the overwhelming amount of people there is astonishing. It's clean, green and full of energy. This park isn't really any ordinary park either, you will find a zoo, baseball fields, lakes, metropolitan museum of art and more sidewalk vendors then you possibly need. The people there are from every ethnicity you can think of and each passing face has a story on it just waiting to be told.

A park like this is an oasis in terms of a place where you can find many people enjoying themselves. If they are having a picnic in the park or visiting the lions cage or even just out for a Sunday afternoon walk they are having a good time and general enjoyment is being had. It's a good thing to be apart of.

Not quite sure where I am going with this, or why I decided to write about it, but the feeling of running through a park like that and being able to listen to my favorite music as I get to look around and see all the new faces and different people is a pretty cool experience. You should try and see Central Park sometime in NYC, I recommend it for anyone.

Hopefully you have a park or a place like this where you can just 'get lost' for a few hours once a week.. it's nothing short of refreshing..

Posted in: , , , , , , , on Sunday, April 19, 2009 at at 6:41 PM 6 comments  

Windy City

Chicago.. wow.

How do explain a city like this? Here is a couple ways I would do it by what I have seen over the last 3 days of being here and what it feels like.

It feels windy, because of how hard the weather comes off of the lake morning, noon and night. It is lively with 24/7 people running around town, all with different agendas and different places to be. It's organized chaos at it's finest. (Read a book called 'crowds' this is explained quite well.) There is a loud and rowdy night life if you can find the location on any given night. (not easy...) The roads are so bad in places I can hear the cars actually screaming while driving over them... Food is so easy to find and not just any food, but everything you could possibly imagine. Brats, Pizza, Asian Cuisine, fine dining and steakhouses and the lists go on. And on that same note, there is a Starbucks on every corner. (this is really amazing actually as well as a McDonalds never too far away)

Overall Chicago is a cool city, it's got the Sears Tower, Wrigley-ville, 6 or more museums within a 3 mile radius and more bars and nightlife then anyone would know what to do with.

I recommend visiting this city. There is so much here that anything less than a week wouldn't be justice enough.

Caio-

Posted in: , , , on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 at at 1:45 AM 10 comments  

Sports

The achilles heal of all men. We seemingly have to have them. Every guy has his own sport that he loves, but either way we spend a substantial amount of time watching/going to/drinking/ betting on them. And they never get old.

A good sporting event with your buddies is practically heaven. (a beer included is always welcome as well.)

Does anyone have any sports related addictions? I recently got to check out the Chicago blackhawks vs. Detroit red wings and now today it's the cubs baseball game...

Loving it...

Posted in: , , , on Monday, April 13, 2009 at at 5:21 PM 5 comments  

Friend Dynamic

So sorry guys, I have been traveling from Europe to the states over the past 5 days and will be on the go for the next 2 weeks as well.. (too much awesomeness, haha) But I will try and get on here to write a bit about whats going on and how cool it is. :) (The trip is from Minnesota to New York and hitting every cool city in-between)

So I wanted to write about the friend dynamic. I got 3 buddies from Switzerland with me on this trip combined with some local friends and it's great! It's amazing how new people that don't know each other nor speak the same language all too well can get along so seemlessly just because they have a common friend. It's really cool to know how much trust your friends have in you, because they trust your judgement in people so much, that your friends that they don't know previously, instantly become their friends as well.

The power of networking at it's finest. Bringing the world together a few people at a time. :)

Friends are also awesome because you realize how much you can lean and count on them for anything. You don't have an extra 10 bucks for a slurpie and funyans late at night, they got you covered. You are feeling like shjt and are not sure you can make it to the game tonight, so they change the plans and do something that will allow you to come and just postpone the plans you had for another night. Friends like this are great and they have your back no matter what, but at the same time they are the first ones to hit you on the head when you need it. (I have been hit like 4 times on this current trip so far..) haha...

Friends make life simplier. It shouldn't be a chore to have your friends, you don't need to be a babysitter for real friends, they don't want that anyways. They should be there to make it better, they are like enhancement pills for the daily life that you call your own. Sidekicks at times, and leading you up the stairs and tucking you in at other times. Either way they make it more simple for you, and both parties are getting enjoyment. (most the time.. :P)

A few things you need to have when it comes to friends are trust, this is paramount to anything else you have with your friends because this becomes the basis for all relationships and how far they will go. You also need to be able to be generally happy with one another. Good times shouldn't be something that are few and far between in occurances. Enjoying each others company should be something that you don't have to think about. And when you get a group of guys are girls that falls into this.. thats something special. And don't ever lose these people, because you will need them as much as they need you through life.

Have a good Wednesday guys.. just some random thoughts, hope to bring you more soon...

Caio-

Posted in: , , , , , , on Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at at 7:01 PM 6 comments  

Getting knocked down

I am sure you have all heard the song called, “Hard Knock Life” and my favorite version is the one by rapper Jay-Z. He basically spends the whole time talking about how he went from the ‘bottom to the top’. How he went from ‘lukewarm to hot’, and how no one appreciated him until he released his second album.

Jay-Z is a good example of someone who has experienced defeat many times (or that’s what he says in his songs) and kept getting up. You fall down 11 times you get up 12, no matter how many times you lose or get knocked down you need to rise up again. I know sometimes it gets hard and you just don’t have the energy too, but think of how much worse off you will be if you just lay down.. (and die)

Another good song is by Chumbawumba, “Tubthumpin”. (ok well the chorus is preaching the same message) The whole song is basically the chorus as there is virtually no verses. But the chorus says, “I get knocked down but I get up again, no you’re never going to keep me down.” And then just goes ahead and repeats that 20+ times. This song is talking about getting knocked down again and that no matter how many times you, someone else or the world knocks them down, they will always get back up again.

I think people need more of this attitude in them. I think people need to dwell more on the good times, not saying we should forget about all the mistakes and stupid things that we do or happen to us, but more that we need to be persistent. Good things will never happen to us if we decide to quit the race or bail out of the journey early.

You are going to have your good days and bad days, but without the bad days we wouldn’t really realize the good days or they wouldn’t feel that good to us. So on those days when you are feeling down and out, do the following:

-Get up
-Be persistent
-Don’t dwell on any ‘one thing’ for too long
-Learn from where you are at that moment, then forget about it.
-And lastly be Awesome! We all are…

Too many random thoughts for early in the morning. Haha. This is what happens to you in the morning when you hear Jay-Z on your I-Tunes library.

Posted in: , , , , , on Thursday, April 2, 2009 at at 9:52 AM 14 comments  

Make the Decision

Making a decision is something that we do everyday. We need to decide what to wear when we get out of bed, and if we really want a coffee in the morning or just some milk or juice will do. We have millions of everyday decisions we make with little to no effort. These are normally the questions we have to answer on a daily basis and don't have to care all that much about. This makes them a lot faster and thus leaves us with more time to think about the more important decisions which inevitably lie ahead..

Now hear is my question. How do you go about making the complex decisions? How do you tackle the important issues that will have greater consequences than the ones involving cereal or toast in the morning?

Do you have a method and a way of systematically going about tough decisions? Do you make a chart with a pro's and con's column? Are you the person who goes around and takes a quick poll in their minds about what all your friends and family in your inner circle think? No matter what way that you do it, you still have to make these decisions, because we both know they don't go away and only get harder the longer you procrastinate with them.

So my question to you is, "How do you make the decision?"

Give me your opinion and your insight into how you go about the tough ones?

Here is a personal example about a decision I need to make. I have a career decision fast approaching in the next 6 months and it's a biggy. I need to decide what I want to do and where I want to go. Sounds easy enough, weigh the pluses and minuses and see how it shakes out. But here is the 'kicker' for me, every decision would make me happy. I mean normally you have a decision to make and it's clear which ones have what benefits, and most the time you can gauge relatively close if you would be happy with one over another, but for me I would be happy with all.

So what do you do? How do you make a decision without any regrets. Or is it easier, because I know no matter which decision I make I will be happy?

Thoughts?

(Ohh yeah.. just a quick note to you. Something to try today. And that is to SMILE more!)

Posted in: , , , on Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at at 10:06 AM 23 comments  

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