The feeling of jealousy, where does it come from? Why does it creep into our thoughts and sneak up on us when we least expect it? It's like a lingering bad guy that just waits and waits and waits, hoping for the right moment to show itself comes along. It's the bad guy that you love to hate, the one that is truly 'unwelcome'.
We all have this feeling programmed into our brains and hardwired into our systems better than a mother board into it's computer. We actually can't really get rid of it, only suppress it. However there are some of us who express feeling no jealousy at all, but these are the lucky few. Jealousy is something that is seen at a very young age in children even. Think of a 2 year old when they realize that they are about to have a baby sister, or when they finally think about having to share their toys, food, or even their own mother with another baby. This is why we need to teach children at such a young age to share toys, their mother, their fathers, etc.
Jealousy is something that is reinforced in society and even sometimes put on a pedestal. We back jealousy by saying to everyone, "Look.. there is a soul mate out there for you and you will find them..." Give me a break, seriously? We set up jealousy on a silver platter, no wonder people get jealous when they think they found Ms. Perfect. I would be protective as well if I thought there was one and ONLY one out there. (By the sarcasm in my voice you can tell I don't believe in this all that much, understatement) In fact I can take this one step further, we even justify jealousy in our society. I read about some old court cases in Texas that involved a man killing his wife for cheating on him and he wasn't found guilty for murder?? How does that work? Obviously things have changed a bit and today he would have been accused of murder, but still, that was only back in the 1970's.
Jealousy is not a rational impulse folks, but it is a human one. It is thought of by some researchers as a primitive feeling, one that helps explain the fight or flight instinct we have programmed in us, which originally came from a time when safety and survival were scarce. But I don't really want to go in that direction concerning jealousy.
I want to talk about jealousy in and of itself and the fact that it has and will always be there. It will wait for a moment to rear it's ugly head and take control of you in the littlest ways by eating at you. Maybe you catch an extra glance or a small hug that lingers a bit too long? Then instantly that thought pops into your head that something could be going on and you start entertaining the idea. Why do you do this though? Before you know it you start getting angry and making small comments and stupid remarks all because of this tiny feeling of jealousy, despite everything pointing the other direction. Yes jealousy can get you all messed up, so the best thing to do is to try and stay rational, to try and not act upon emotion or instantaneously pass judgement. Take a breath, relax, let the jealousy monster pass, because more often than not it's not worth it.
And jealousy isn't something you are going to avoid and it's not about how or when it happens, but it's how you deal with it that does.
Last point, the thing that can combat this feeling is trust. We need trust and have to have it, it helps control the feeling of jealousy...
Trust me...
[end rant]
Ciao~
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Tuesday, September 22, 2009
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3:46 PM
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