Women: The curse
Women are great, they are remarkable and they can get men to do amazing things. We would go to the "moon and back" for women or try to accomplish the impossible, with certain failure being inevitable. But if you look at the flip side, they can drag us to the depths of hell with the most innocent of looks, the tiniest kiss or the flirtatious batting of the eyes. Women can even commit crimes without even lifting a finger, hell we do it for them... all they have to do is ask.
Every guy knows it's true and everyone has had an instance where they have gone against all morals, all good reasoning and judgement to do something for a girl. I can't even tell you the amount of times where a 'cute look' has gotten me to do something stupid for a girl. It's not even like we have to do it for love or because we need too, we do it because "she" asked. I mean tell that to the judge when you get caught for stealing a rose from someones garden, all just to impress a girl.
I would like to say that we think with our heads most of the time, but with women for sure we think with the wrong head 85% of the time when doing these stupid things. Men are dumb, dumb creatures at times and we can be persuaded to do even stupider things when asked by a cute girl.
Girls will for sure shave their legs, starve themselves, dress cute for us, but guys will lie, steal, cheat, murder and even give our right 'you know what' for you.
[...but I still like them..]
Posted in: 24-7 awesomeness, addiction, bad, crazy, crimes, girls, random thought on Monday, September 21, 2009 at at 10:32 AM
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I think the assumption that 'women' are the cause of the said actions and emotions is faulty which would make the overall argument itself unsound. I think you would do better to examine 'attraction', 'infatuation' and or 'love' as the subject/cause of your stated effects. After all isn't it entirely plausible that all genders (including those who choose not to identify with a specific gender) are capable of behaving/feeling this way towards persons of the same or opposite sex? If you agree with this than you must disregard 'women' as the cause of the effect and search for a new one. I would think, as I had suggested, that 'attraction' would be a logical place start....also an interesting one since it allows you to examine the biological implications of what you're discussing in this piece as well as the irrationality of love/attraction to one person in itself.
I suspect that the lengths one person will go to for another have much more to do with 'attraction' and 'your own self'. The biological implications of attraction are clear (although interestingly unclear when you look at same sex attraction and gender identities) but consider for a moment how much you 'yourself' play a part in your stated effects. What you are willing to do to 'win' the 'attraction' of a person you are interested in may not necessarily be the same another is willing to do. So ask yourself what is it that/to what lengths you are willing to do? Why are you willing to do these things? To what ends/what is your goal?
When you begin to examine it in this way it makes our tendency to do a lot to win the attraction of ONE person (in that biological sense for child rearing etc)make sense, but extremely irrational and perhaps even unjustified in today's context. At least for me in the way that I just spun it in my head.
Bamer, what did you do that brought this on? ;) LMAO.
You paint yourself (or 'guys') as helpless, a victim, at the whim of any attractive female who glances your way. We know that isn't true. You are still responsible for your own actions, no matter how hot she is. And if you are doing things that are truly 'dumb' for a girl because she asked or fluttered her eyelashes at you, then you should perhaps examine your gullibility meter, or your own motivations, rather than tilting all the blame at the female for it. I mean, sure, maybe she's a malicious, terrible person in disguise who is using you (and she would be if she was asking you to lie, cheat, murder or steal) - but she can only use you if you let her.
Personally I don't buy the excuse that you ('guys') were thinking with the 'other head', that's just an abdication of responsibility and merely an excuse for poor decisions. The fact remains that any female worthy of your regard does not ask you to prove it by doing something hideously stupid.
And if you're doing those daft things for her spontaneously, of your own accord...? Then, as Jin says, it would be better to examine attraction and infatuation (and or mental illness if we're actually talking about true crimes ;) ).
Infatuation can certainly cloud your judgement - that is the result of a chemical process inside your own head. It can make you feel irrational. But that is not a unique condition to the human male. Guess what? We girls feel just as torn up over you guys. I've done some pretty irrational things over a guy in the past too...
I guess the difficulty lies in knowing when these irrational actions are really 'worth it'. Is it really love, or is it just a hormonal illusion? Perhaps true love (that wonderful, mythical ideal) is worth the risk of getting caught stealing a flower for... Perhaps you could, and should, risk anything for it?
I leave it to you.
aha!!! i knew you didnt whip out your credit card for those roses :)
(BTW for all men who are reading, this makes you go from zero to hero in like 3 seconds)
Can you please elaborate on what you mean by "wrong head"???LOL sorry but when i read that, my mind went straight to the gutter.
Jin, on some levels you are correct when you state that Luke would do better to examine "attraction, infatuation, or love" as the cause of the stated effects. However, you ignore the fact that men and women have different ideas about this -- unless you subscribe to the (bizarre) belief that gender is nothing more than a societal construct. These different ideas between genders create a whole new set of arguments which deserve more thought, and I think this is what Luke is going for.
I find the state between men and women so unpredictable, unduly complicated, selfish instead of selfless, and just plain ridiculous that I often find myself refusing to play little games, rather than continuously participating in the charade.
@ all: Haha, that was just a random attempt at trying to explain the stupidity that all men know and feel on a daily basis when a girl gets us to do something that goes against morals, good judgement and the like.
@ Jin: So you think if I look at love, infatuation and attraction, it will get me further in this argument? Are you trying to defer blame from the power a women possesses and instead put it on the feelings we have internally?
I understand what you mean and I agree, but at the end of the day these are the strong feelings that you provoke in us and that we in turn relate to you, to women. We don't think of it, or at least it doesn't register as such, that "love" is the cause of said reaction. Instead we associate a name, a person, a girl as the reason. I agree that it isn't her fault, she didn't make us go to the best coffee shop in town to get the coffe for her, but in fact we did or our 'infatuation' made us do it.
@ Steph: Nothing, I just like to blog about randomness at times and lets be honest, girls cross our minds more often than not. This doesn't mean that we only think about s3x, but rather that we constantly think about how you feel based on what we do or more specifically our actions and what they might be based on 'said girl'.
And I agree, I don't use "the other head" as a legitimate excuse nor as a good grounds for argumentation. It never has been a solid ground for argument, but rather a lame attempt at covering up a previous stupid act. (See how stupidity repeats itself??)
@ xxxray: flowers or roses are the only thing that can make a guy go from zero to hero? Or that's all it takes for you?
Take head out of gutter... :D
@ Gust: Thanks for understanding where I was trying to go with this, but I completely agree with the points aformentioned. :)
Yay so many responses, how fun!
I definitely agree that there are differences between men and women, in the way that they think (having both biological and socially constructed differences), however, what I meant was this;
1. The 'feeling' Luke is talking about here is not unique to men.
2. It is possible to have this 'feeling' about a person that is not a woman.
3. This entire scenario is also not unique to heterosexual relationships.
- given this, it changes Luke's core assumption that 'women' are the cause of this 'feeling' in men. So I have challenged him to replace his core assumption/subject with a more logical one to see if his argument can stand. I suggested 'attraction' and Steph's suggestion of 'infatuation' is bang on here.
- If Luke was attempting to examine the differences between men and women and how they behave with one another, than I think he picked the wrong argument. I understood that Luke was admitting he has done some irrational things and gone to great lengths to please women. While this behaviour is not unique to Luke, it is also not universal to all men in regards to all women.
- I think through discussions like this we can take some of the confusion out of the relationships men and women share and disregard some common social myths that keep us only further confused about intimate relationships and the opposite sex. I believe that when you really examine and discuss topics/themes like this you can begin to make sense of their nature. The more we understand, the more we can predict, adapt and contextualize...making in this case, relationships less confusing and more of a blessing as opposed to a curse.
- Luke keep topics such as these coming! Fantastic discussion material and I really enjoyed reading everyone's point of view!
absolutely not, there are many many ways a guy can go from zero to hero. flowers are for guys not creative enough. but we will still take them any day.
@ Jin: I agree this feeling isn't specific to just men. Agreed that it's not homo or hetrosexual. And I agree again that it's not specific to having it only about a women, however it seems to happen with 'only women' for me. :P
@ xxxray: I disagree, flowers are for guys that could be any one of the following:
1) Not creative; so therefore they fall back on things that have been created in society by Hallmark, floral shops, etc, and just take the 'easy way' out. (Thanks Hallmark for creating Valentine's you assholes.. haha)
2) Has no time; I believe flowers are a good way to do something nice for someone you care about, especially if you are always on the go and never have a free moment.. <--- I'm guilty of this
3) Trying to get out of trouble; Yes we use this sometimes to lighten the mood or to help weather the storm... xD
ok lets agree to disagree.jk. your three points above is what we all know already. i was just referring to just one situation which u wrote about in ur blog, and that impressing a girl u r interested in.. also i was just making a friendly suggestion to men that they should send flowers once in a while because it just makes them look that much better..
for point number 3 - LOL Luke!!who would want your flowers now??? :P :P jk..i think sometimes a guy should keep a few things like that to himself. :)