Life Referees
So who is reffing this game called "Life"?
When we were children growing up, it was mom and dad who were there to 'ref' you and watch over us at all times. They made sure to pick us up when we fell and dust the dirt off. They fed us our favorite meals and told us bedtime stories. They told us when we needed to be home at night and what was accepted and/or expected of us at all times.. But mom and dad aren't around forever and there is a gradual weening period where we have to start fending for ourselves.
Some people start the road to maturity and independence earlier than others, but either way we all need to get there sometime. We all need watch out for ourselves and make the right decisions without the help of referees from the side lines. When this happens though is up to you, but either way it's inevitable.
Some of us flourish without people helping us while others flounder in the water, always looking around for the next helping hand, just to keep their noses above. I agree we all need help from time to time to get anywhere in this life, but you also need to be able to stand on your own two feet as well, even if it's only for a few minutes here and there.
There are many good feelings that come with standing up by yourself though. Like when you accomplish an extremely lofty goal after months of trying. You get the feeling of accomplishing something by yourself, with no one else's help, which is the biggest 'high' ever. It's like a splash of fresh water when your standing under the sweltering sun. It's great! And it makes you want that feeling to last and to come back again soon.. (and it will)
"Life referees" are going to always be there, but use them seldomly, and when you need them let them know you appreciate them. (For example: Mother's Day, I hope you all gave your mothers a call??) But more importantly show them that you can do everything on your own, and that will be the biggest reward you could give. And that's when this cycle starts over again....
As you get older and become a very active member of society and start your own family, you then in turn, become a referee as well and you will love it. (I know I am making up some new rules, Muwahaha) And you get to share your experiences with others and see the other side of the street. I can only imagine what a trip that will be.. haha!
Posted in: fun, help, random thought, teaching, thanks, thinking on Monday, May 11, 2009 at at 9:43 AM
Posts
I think when you are successful at being on your own and making good decisions, this also will make your parents proud. They'll know that you don't have to be worried about 24/7 and that you've been raised right.
I agree with you. I think the most important part of what you mentioned was making good decisions. It's not that hard, but yet we all make dumb decisions constantly. We just need to limit them.
Being self sufficient is probably the fundamental key to success no matter what your goal is. I also suspect it has a lot to do with one's own happiness as well.
Growing up goes hand in hand with making decisions independent of external guidance and of course with mistakes (multiple if you're anything like me at all). Some are not that serious, some could have been much worse, many should be avoided (again been there) and some just completely suck. But, mistakes are, or at least should be, a part of everyone's reality. They're invaluable life lessons that ought to be appreciated for the insights and cautions they will provide for the future. They are 'your' mistakes and they stem from 'your' own experiences and the lessons learned will be so tailored to 'your' own life.
Standing on your own two feet, making your own decisions, being your own best friend and your own guidance counselor will never be a mistake in itself, what it will do is help to get you through the many little mistakes you have yet to make.
Yet, being too 'self sufficient', too 'proud' or never seeking the advice or help of your 'referees' when you need it is also a mistake. The challenge here is to find that medium which allows you to flourish and grow as much as you can.
It's fortunate to have people in your life that you can turn to for help and advice...when you need it.We bring friends, family and partners into our lives to enrich each others lives. The best of them will always have your back, but they should not be your backbone.
"We just need to limit them."
Exactly. it's part of the growth process.. but some people are constantly "growing," which could be avoided if they thought before they acted.
Very few of us think through our actions before we make them. I think that if you limit your dumb actions or train yourself with better morals, ethics, values and judgement skills we would have alot smarter of a world..
Just my 2 cents..
thanks for weighing girls. :)
You're all right...
But what about the people who don't have good 'life refs' from day one?
It's hard to figure everything out by yourself, it's like floundering in the dark... you bump into all the furniture, you make more mistakes than you might have if someone had been there holding a candle for you - at least so you could see past the doorway, even though you still need to figure out the path on your own.
Mistakes are a part of life. Some of us struggle more than others, and it's not all because we don't think before we act.
For sure it's hard to figure everything out by yourself. It is nice when someone turns on the light for you. I completely agree with you.
But I think the people that come out of those situations become even stronger because of the adversity they had to deal with. Could be just my pipe dream..
I don't think that people don't think before they act all the time either though.
Well, I hope your pipe dream is not just a dream... ;) I'm counting on that being true for me... And I am getting there. :)
Kick ass! :P :P :P
Not only your parents, but your grandparents. My grandmother (we call her Oma) was telling me how much like Opa I am. I felt so honored, he's my biggest hero ever.
@ Gust : Your heritage is deeply embedded in you and doesn't leave. So you are probably like your great grandparents as well...
read the book "outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell.. great read about this.