Fake happiness?
I recently had a friend send me a link to a YouTube video that talked about how we should try to be happier. About how this will help everyone, and not only ourselves. Of course we will see the most benefits from being happy, but it also affects everyone around us. Anyways I found quite interesting and I wanted to share my views on 'faking happiness'.
There was a blurb about faking happiness and if we could, and I want to weigh in here and give my opinion on why I think the speaker was right. I think we can fake happiness and not only that, but I think we are really good at it. We actually do it all the time in our everyday lives. We are damn good actors if you think about it. And I have a few examples to prove it.
1) Dad says, "If you are good, we will go and get ice cream later.." Now I know all of us have heard this or something similar at least a few times when we were kids. And, at least in my case, you better believe that no matter if I was sick, tired, mad or whatever I was going to be really good for that next hour so I could get me some a dat chocolate ice cream I was always craving. So this meant that I faked being good or happy.
2) You hate to work with Mr. A-hole at work, but you know you have to and on this particular day you have a meeting with him about some new 'thing' you want to change/improve/etc. Now normally you avoid him or just keep everything extremely brief, but this time because he has the final say on something you want, you fake happy towards him. (Not to mention you were faking happy every time you saw him in the hallway or wherever at work) I know everyone has had a boss before and faked happy to him or her.
3) Your are going to the movies and the person at the counter selling the tickets is really slow. You have been waiting for 15 minutes or so and the movie is going to start in 7 minutes and you don't even have popcorn. Not only does this make you mad and irritated, but you know the reason it's taking so long is because of this one person. But instead of you getting up there and sayin, "what the hell??" You simply roll up there and mumble, "2 tickets to Transformers 2." More or less just thankful to get the tickets as quickly as possible so you can get your butt in the theatre.
So out of those 3 above I am sure most of you reading this have done at least 2 of them. But why do we do it? Why do we fake happy? And if we are so good at it, why do we do it only when we want something? Why not all the time? I mean if the whole world was a bit happier don't you think it would be a lot more fun to live in? I do.
Before I answer those questions, how about I pose another one?
Do you think that if you 'act' or if you 'fake' happy that your actions or behaviors can shape your feelings? To explain further, do you think you can make yourself feel better by just faking your happiness?
Woo-wee, I know I am asking a bunch of questions and laying it on thick, but how about you give me your feedback and tell me what you think? Can we fake happy? Can it affect our real feelings if we do it long enough? And lastly, should we?
I know that sometimes I do. I know that I am a pretty jolly guy most of the time and that I am happier because of my faked happiness at times. (Not saying I am a fake'r or anything, but you get my point. Or at least I am not a fake'r like some women can be in bed... haha... that was just a joke, hope you don't need to fake it)
Anyways, throw me your thoughts.
Ciao~
Posted in: faking, happiness, improvements, thinking, women on Thursday, July 2, 2009 at at 2:15 PM
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Some people think you always have to "let it all out"; that you have to act on every feeling. Just think if everyone let out all their unhappy, negative feelings each time they felt one. Oh, what a beautiful world that would be —- NOT!
Some people think you need to “be in touch with all your emotions” -- which is true -- just don't let negative ones poison others. Some people just don't get it. Maybe they never will. I guess what these people should really ask themselves is “who would they rather be around a cheerful person or someone who is negative, critical, and just nasty to be around?” If they’re honest, they will say the cheerful person. There’s nothing fake about it. It is a moral obligation to act happy or at least not inflict your bad moods on others. If a person doesn't control or change their unhappy moods, then he/she needs to stay away from innocent people. For those people who have stopped this negative behavior, it is something to celebrate, since those around them will definitely benefit from this change.
I speak from personal experience here.
I think that as long as you put your mindset on being happy you will be. Negativity is a black hole that consumes you and everyone around you. No need to "fake" anything. The mind rules the emotions and the body. It is our most important tool and we should use it to improve our lives and the lives of the people around us. As long as we maintain a positive mindset our actions and attitudes will follow. Even when looking at the most unhappy events in life we can find a way to be happy and joyful. To explain, you are sad that someone close to you has died. You ask "how am I to be happy about this?" You should be happy about the life they led and the time spent together and that their time here with us was enriching to others. Now you mourn their passing yet celebrate their life and in that you have happiness that exudes upon others around you and the veil of negativity will lift and there will be happiness for the life of that person and not unhappiness for their death. We can find something that makes us happy in everything and as we go through life we must look for those things. Those that do not look for the things that make them happy are the ones that try to just get through life. Why not live life, love life, be happy and hold your head high? If everyone just looked for the happiness in life the world would be a far better place.
I just wanted to quickly write that my neighbor is a strong believer in the mind controlling the emotions. She had to find happiness when her life was crumbling around her. Her husband had just died and her son was just a baby. She didn't have a job or a place she could afford. Instead of taking it all and being overrun by fear, lonliness and greif she looked at her son and he made her so happy. She is now a successful publishing agent with a 15 year old well adjusting teenage boy with a place of their own and she is happy. Just thought I would share that even in the most extreme circumstances you can still be happy and not be shrouded by negativity.
@ life is now: Welcome! Always nice to see a new person on here leaving comments.
I completely agree with both of you. And I especially like the part about being able to find happiness in anything, anywhere at anytime. I try to do this everyday and it works.
A little smile goes a long way...
Dang, where were all you positive people when I was growing up? ;)
I could have done with this lesson when I was 8! Boy, do I appreciate it now though.
I agree with everything that has been said: Happy is something that you choose. And when you do... you are happy. Faking happy inexplicably makes you feel happy.
I am trying this out for the first time and so far I like it. It's crazy that I have only just figured this out (with a big help from my friend Bamer :) ). So thanks!
I'm loving all the positive messages here in the comments section too. Smiles all around. :)
oh why do u have to end on that note?? if ur woman has to fake it, she is really doing you a favor.
@ xxxray: Not in my eyes. If your woman has to fake it she isn't doing me a favor. She is lying to me and it doesn't make me want to change anything to make it better..
If you care about your partner then you want them to get 110% pleasure out of sex as well, and if she is faking it then I am tricked into thinking I am doing it right when I am actually not.
I would rather have you straight up tell me, faster, slower, harder, etc... :)
im saying that because men have sensitive egos. but i think im gona stick to my opinion B.
But it will just hurt more later when they finally do find out that they aren't good in bed. Right?
Better to be upfront and honest. Then you can both have more satisfying sex lives as it's not only your side that this hurts, but both.
Believe me it will only get better if you help the guy out.
My 2 cents. :)