Baby love
How is it going?
I hope you are kickin off your week in a good way, and I hope you enjoyed a happy 'Independence Day', if you are an American. :) I didn't hear about too many firecracker accidents.
Anyways, I wanted to write a quick blurb today about babies and this ever growing feeling that people around the age of 22-35 or so have. And I know you know what this feeling is. Let's just call it, 'baby love'.
It's that feeling of wanting a baby. (If you haven't already had a few that is) You get to this age and you start looking at babies and thinking of how cute they are and how bad you want to have one for your own. This feeling is normal and it's instinctual. We are no different than any other animal out there, in the way that we want to reproduce and have some offspring.
But this feeling inside seems to start to hit full stride between this time period. Maybe a bit earlier for some and later for others, but either way it's something we all want to do. Alot of times you hear women talking about their 'internal clocks' and that they are ticking. This is that ticking that they are talking about. And I am hear to tell you that guys have these damn 'clocks' too. In fact I feel like I can't turn it off sometimes, but rather just change the station in my head. I mean I can't tell you how much I have thought about making a 'mini me' from time to time.
I know you can sit there and think, "Well then make one.." But it's not as easy as it sounds. Life puts alot of roadblocks in the way first. Here is a quick list below to show you want I mean.
Roadblocks:
-Finding the right girl/guy (This one is huge)
-Making sure you are ready (physically, financially, etc.)
-Being able to.. (It's not a given that you even can?? wtf??)
These are just a few but as you can see, it's not so easy to just pop a few kids out. More so I mean it's hard to do it the 'normal' way.. (normal being used in the sense of marriage/partnership, career, house, etc, before you finally have a kid) But if you want to bypass this, I am sure you can run to the local 'whore house' and make a whole in the condom?? (Let's hope you didn't actually consider that) I just shuddered...
Anyways, why do we get these 'baby love' feelings? Why do we have such an instinctual urge to reproduce? And is this controllable, because I have some friends who never want to have a baby... How do they control this urge? (Maybe they hate sex?) I dunno, but either way, this 'baby love' feeling can be killer at times.
Did I just write that?? Must be getting older...
Posted in: age, babies, baby, changes, children, happiness, kids, men, thinking, women on Monday, July 6, 2009 at at 3:33 PM
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Well, we are sexual beings, and we are meant to multiply and be plentiful, with large families.
I want to get married, and have babies. I'd love to have a wife and babies now. But I can't afford to support either, nor are there any prospects on the immediate horizon, so I am careful to not put myself or any woman in that situation.
But I want a couple of boys, maybe a girl.
I think survival of the species is that instinctual urge you were referring to, there are likely some other ideas on this, but not my area of specialty. lol.
I think that wanting babies goes further than instinct though. We are sexual beings, but we are also social beings who all have unique personal histories. For myself, it's not that I am a baby lover per se, but a family lover. I grew up in a large family, I loved it, we're all very close and it's what I would like to have and pass on in my future. The more I grow, the closer I feel I am to making the dream a reality. I think it is more than just hormones though, it's also about reflection on what you've lived through and what you would like to make of your life.
I think the urge for reproduction must be controllable, if not we would have to assume that all of those who have no children are childless not by choice but by situation.
But yay babies! Haha the baby urges are killer sometimes, I'm trying not to let it get ahead of itself though....ie I should still find life partner/finish school/solid career with maternity leave lol. etc. But one day, at least 2 dogs, 1 snake and a minimum of 3 babies and maybe the above 'pre-reqs' satisfied. lol
@ Jin - LOL at the snake. I want a menagerie too.
@ Bamer - It's an interesting topic, the urge to reproduce is definitely instinctual. We are hardwired to want to ensure the success and continuation of our species. And the urge definitely grows as we mature - I remember being a young teenager, and being all 'Ew, have babies?', and that was because I still was one. But a few years later I suddenly 'got it', and now I am excited to think that one day I will have babies.
It's not just about reproducing for me though. I think there is something very grand and beautiful in finding that person that you wish to have babies with. Imagine meeting their eyes across the sleeping body of your newborn baby and saying 'hey, look what we did'. There must be something seriously magical in that moment.
And it's the only time in science that 1+1=3 (and sometimes 4 or 5, heaven forbid. ;) Please not 8 though, that whole Octo-Mom thing... gag, wrong).
And then you have the opportunity to raise these little beings and help them grow into independent and successful people. To help them be taller, stronger, smarter, quicker and healthier than you... and hopefully well-adjusted too. ;) How rewarding must that be? A long journey full of challenges, for sure, but one that will undoubtedly pay off every single day.
I think the whole thing is wonderful. I look forward to having a family one day - not too soon, definitely not next week or anything, but someday. :) Of course I need the right guy first, haha, the hardest part of all? I'm probably going to keep the rose-tinted glasses firmly on and hope for true love too. :)
@ everyone: I love the responses about babies. :)
I completely agree with what you guys/girls posted. I think the urge is controllable, but nonetheless it's there and it's noticable and gets even bigger as we grow and mature. I think everyone that posted has had this urge and has probably even felt it grow over the last few years depending on your individual age.
But it sounds as though all of us can control it and are waiting until it's 'right', and for that I wish everyone luck in finding that perfect partner. :D
I think it will happen when it happens and you should know it when it does.. At least thats what older people keep telling me... haha.
Babies are so sweet... in my past, I was forever babysitting... and I still will. Having one of my own scares me bc of the lack of sleep factor.
It would be nice if everyone thought out those things like you did Bamer, then we wouldn't have so many unfit parents running around. ;)
i'll be ready when those things i have to give up to be a mom will no longer bother me.
heres a tip, go to a children's hospital and just sit in their waiting room for about an hour. if it doesnt come as a shock to u that not all babies are all that cute but rather vexatious when it comes down to it (sorry to be a bit negative, but i see this almost on a daily basis), i think just then u might be ready on some level. as some of u said it, having children affects everything, and u have to completely renovate yourself. if u r not a patient person you WILL lean to be..etc, and u r a parent for the rest of ur life..that is a commitment, and i guess many people just dont really know what they r getting themselves into. they just think babies are cute and the hell with the rest. no offense to young moms, but im sick and tired of seeing those 14-year-old bi*ches that just want to get knocked up by anyone, just so they can have a "cute" baby to walk around the mall with. pathetic.
@ xxxray: Well that's one way to look at it.
I know that babies are not all perfect adn that they are alot of work, but I think together with the help of a good mom it won't be easy, but at least it will be do-able. :)
Either way eventually it will happen. :P