Showing posts with label improvements. Show all posts
Showing posts with label improvements. Show all posts

The Humble Line

I have had many conversations regarding being humble vs. egotistic. Being good and confident in what you do and being cocky. Obviously one side is better to be on than the other. And you would rather have someone think of you as humble than egotistic and the same goes for confident or cocky, right?


Now there seems to be a lot of grey area on this subject, the middle ground seems to be quite large as to when you cross the line and when you haven't. When you start to gloat about how good you are, or were, as opposed to just confident and good at what you do, or have done in the past.

I think this grey area is definable and at least able to narrow down the subject of being humble or cocky a bit more. And what I mean by that is that this grey area is completely subjective to each person in the way that it is defined by his or her own definition of egotistical vs. humble. This didn't become apparent to me until I had a conversation last week about what someone else viewed as egotistic and not confident, and that their view was completely different than my own. We used an example about another person and how good they were at a particular sport. (should be easy for everyone to relate to this) I thought this person was good at what they did and were also confident that they played it well. Where as my counter-arguer thought the other person was being egotistical because they knew they were better and acted as such. (Basically they liked to talk about the good games they had with others)

This is where I started to think about why some people put alot more people in the ego category than in the humble category. It's almost as if some people refrain from using the word humble to describe someone for only a select few? The chosen extreme humble ones, and that all the other ones got thrown into the grey area or all the way into the ego category. What's up with that? I felt as though it was a mild attack on people with confidence. And more so that if you knew you were good at something you couldn't be confident in it... or you run the risk of looking cocky or over confident.

Where is that grey line again?

So I started to think a bit more about this and one of my friends told me the other day that their definition of egotism vs confidence is simple. It's like this: Confidence is when you are good at something and know it, but don't use that to make yourself more superior than others. You don't tell others that you are better than someone else because you are better at a certain sport, photography, cooking, etc. If you know it, that's cool, and it's even cool to share your big victories and good things you have done or even won, but as soon as you start to think that you are better than another person, (possibly someone who is less gifted) then that's where it crosses into egotistical. When you think you are a better 'person' because of your god given talent, etc. That's when it crosses from one side to another.

And to me that was a good explanation and definition of confident vs. humble. I don't think you should ever suppress the victories you have achieved or the goals or events you have won, but I also don't think that you should make others feel inadequate that you can do one thing better than them. It should more sharing than a 'look at me' festival.

Maybe the difference is talking about it vs. gloating about it? Or maybe you know a person that always has to be first and never wants to show a weakness? It could even be in the way you say it? I don't know, but either way there is a fine line between being humble and being egotistical, and I think how you define the two is ultimately going to lead to what side you will be on when listening to someone else's story about the game winning goal they scored.

My question: Do you find more people egotistical or just plain confident? And is your view a reflection on you? (Maybe you are less fortunate at sports, so when you see a good athlete and they talk about how well they did, you feel a bit jealous? Just a thought)

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And just as a side note, have you ever had the girl or guy that comes around and just looks for the compliments that they know you will dish out time and time again? Why do we always tell them good job, or tell them how good they look? Some of us are really good ego 'strokers' at times.. oops.

Posted in: , , , , , , on Friday, July 10, 2009 at at 1:42 PM 3 comments  

Fake happiness?

I recently had a friend send me a link to a YouTube video that talked about how we should try to be happier. About how this will help everyone, and not only ourselves. Of course we will see the most benefits from being happy, but it also affects everyone around us. Anyways I found quite interesting and I wanted to share my views on 'faking happiness'.


There was a blurb about faking happiness and if we could, and I want to weigh in here and give my opinion on why I think the speaker was right. I think we can fake happiness and not only that, but I think we are really good at it. We actually do it all the time in our everyday lives. We are damn good actors if you think about it. And I have a few examples to prove it.

1) Dad says, "If you are good, we will go and get ice cream later.." Now I know all of us have heard this or something similar at least a few times when we were kids. And, at least in my case, you better believe that no matter if I was sick, tired, mad or whatever I was going to be really good for that next hour so I could get me some a dat chocolate ice cream I was always craving. So this meant that I faked being good or happy.

2) You hate to work with Mr. A-hole at work, but you know you have to and on this particular day you have a meeting with him about some new 'thing' you want to change/improve/etc. Now normally you avoid him or just keep everything extremely brief, but this time because he has the final say on something you want, you fake happy towards him. (Not to mention you were faking happy every time you saw him in the hallway or wherever at work) I know everyone has had a boss before and faked happy to him or her.

3) Your are going to the movies and the person at the counter selling the tickets is really slow. You have been waiting for 15 minutes or so and the movie is going to start in 7 minutes and you don't even have popcorn. Not only does this make you mad and irritated, but you know the reason it's taking so long is because of this one person. But instead of you getting up there and sayin, "what the hell??" You simply roll up there and mumble, "2 tickets to Transformers 2." More or less just thankful to get the tickets as quickly as possible so you can get your butt in the theatre.

So out of those 3 above I am sure most of you reading this have done at least 2 of them. But why do we do it? Why do we fake happy? And if we are so good at it, why do we do it only when we want something? Why not all the time? I mean if the whole world was a bit happier don't you think it would be a lot more fun to live in? I do.

Before I answer those questions, how about I pose another one?

Do you think that if you 'act' or if you 'fake' happy that your actions or behaviors can shape your feelings? To explain further, do you think you can make yourself feel better by just faking your happiness?

Woo-wee, I know I am asking a bunch of questions and laying it on thick, but how about you give me your feedback and tell me what you think? Can we fake happy? Can it affect our real feelings if we do it long enough? And lastly, should we?

I know that sometimes I do. I know that I am a pretty jolly guy most of the time and that I am happier because of my faked happiness at times. (Not saying I am a fake'r or anything, but you get my point. Or at least I am not a fake'r like some women can be in bed... haha... that was just a joke, hope you don't need to fake it)

Anyways, throw me your thoughts.

Ciao~

Posted in: , , , , on Thursday, July 2, 2009 at at 2:15 PM 9 comments  

A simple word

A simple word that so many people on this earth forget. It's a word that means alot and people sometimes only need to hear it. I think the world would actually be a heckava lot better if it was used more, and that word is "Thanks."


We do things for others all the time, and other people do tasks and little things for us as well, but we need to remember to say thank-you to these people. It's so simple and it's so easy to say it, and more often than not it's the only thing that your friends or family want to hear after doing something for you.

So why, may I ask, do we forget to say it?

I don't know? Sometimes I think it slips our minds and we are in a rush and have 15 other things going on at the same time, but for whatever reason, we forget it. This is a horse shjt reason, but you see what this can start if you do forget? The person ALWAYS remembers that you didn't say 'thanks' or that you didn't seem grateful for the thing that you accomplished for them. And that's a big problem. It's a downward spiral. Maybe after the first time they let it slip, maybe even a few times they continue to help you when you need it, but eventually they will realize that you 'take them for granite' and they will dispose of you or move on, or even worse, simply stop doing anything for you and stop being someone you can rely on. (meaning you simply lose something solid to stand on that you had obviously become a bit dependent on at times.)

And this all started from one little word, one tiny phrase which carries enormous weight when you look at it from the side of what happens when you DON'T say it.

So say it more often than not. Say it 3 or 4 times when someone does something for you. It's better to say it too many times, (even though I think that's impossible) than to say it, not enough times. The people around you need to know that you appreciate them and everything they have done for you. All the time sacrificed or money spent, etc. So let them know.. They will be happy to hear it.

I promise.
[end rant]

Posted in: , , , , , , on Wednesday, June 24, 2009 at at 11:13 AM 13 comments  

Personal Brand: You

First off, I love this topic, and I would like to point out that all of us at times are either building or tearing down our own personal brand, all the time. But what we need to learn is, not how to tear or destroy it, but how to continue building it and creating more equity and trust in ourselves, from other people's point of view, which will create a stronger brand, "YOU." I also like to encourage people to build their personal brands as well. But before I get into it, I need to explain what our personal brand is?


Your brand is your reputation, as seen through the eyes of your 'clients', etc. A personal brand is a promise of the value your clients will receive. (Clients can be your friends, family, business related, or just about anyone you meet) In an amazingly complex and competing world--where it's increasingly hard to know what's real and what's not--having your customers not only acknowledge but support the promise of your brand is the key to building a thriving business or personal brand.

Who cares? Why do we build a personal brand anyways, what is it good for? Well these are good questions or questions that people may ask or want help with answering the 'why question'. Below is a list of why we try to build a brand:

Brands have a number of strategic functions, enabling you to:
  • - Differentiate yourself from your competition, it creates a unique YOU.
  • - Position your focused message in the hearts and minds of your audience, friends, etc. Let them know what they are getting when they are friends with you.
  • - The way you act and react to people should reflect your personal brand.
  • - Deliver your message clearly and quickly, it shouldn't be 'murky' as to who you are.
  • - Create strong loyalty with your friends and family, they know what to expect from you every time no matter what.

If you establish a place of trust and relevance in others' minds, you're already in the door. The more people that believe in your brand (believe in you), the more it will spread throughout your network, etc. without your pushing. If your brand is clear, distinctive, and easily understood, and expresses a unique, compelling benefit that people believe in, it will bring you many people towards you, business related or personal related.

To summarize what I mentioned above, I want to say that building your own personal is something we do everyday anyways. We constantly 'give off' who we are and what we are about. This in and of itself is good, but are we doing it in the best way? Most probably not.. There is probably a few things that you could change, also that you want to change, that would make appear and be seen the way you should be as well as want to be seen. You want to be seen as trustworthy, honest, caring and efficient. So show yourself that way. Make sure you are always punctual and on time, courteous to others and always give 110% regardless of what it is that you are doing in your life. Take every task as an opportunity to showcase who you are and what your made of. Build the brand "you" will only help you in the future and make others see you the way you should be seen.

So go ahead and build the "new YOU!"

Posted in: , , , , , , , , , on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 at at 11:25 AM 5 comments  

Managing Expectations

“Managing Expectations”

Life can be completely characterized by this one concept, about this one piece of advice. But how can these 2 words above, possibly help you daily? How would you go about tackling this one phrase day after day after day? I will try and explain what I am getting at as you read further.

What I mean by this is that we need to manage many things in our lives; we are constantly juggling 10 or more tasks from day to day. On top of these daily tasks we are dealing with monthly goals and career or long term choices and decisions as well. These choices and decisions that we need to manage seem to never end and continually pile up. And this frustrates us at times, but we can’t turn face and let them be, we need to go at them head first and trudge through them. Or if you are good at managing expectations you seemingly glide over them. But, here comes the question, how do you do that?

How do you manage your expectations?

How do you get the tasks, work and goals in your life completed? And not just completed but in a relatively quick time period and done well and professionally?

Example: You are expected to get this big presentation done by the end of the week, and you know it will take a lot of time and effort to get it done, but you are not sure how much time you will be able to spend on it, as you are already spread pretty thin as it is with current projects. So what do you do?

Simple, you manage your expectations. You get done with your most important projects first and you go from there. You start with that presentation as it seems to be the hardest thing on your plate and the one project that has a specific deadline and has the biggest weight behind it. Then work your way down, and by doing so this will accomplish a few things for yourself in the process. First: You will get the most complex and mentally trying task out of the way first and ensure that it gets finished before the deadline. Secondly: you will guarantee that all the tasks that you do therein after will be easier and go by more quickly than the first as it was the biggest and hardest for you. And third: you will be happier as it always feels good to get the hardest things done first. It is always better to “eat your toads” first. (Toad = hardest task from every day on your to-do list) Think of the flip-side, if you start with the easy things then work to the hard ones, you will be dreading the end of your day everyday, which doesn't sound like much fun does it?

So don't do it that way.

Juas a couple of quick notes: Manage what is expected from you. Manage your projects and prioritize them accordingly from high to low. Always meet your expectations and when time and space permit it, exceed those expectations. Especially as you get more practice with this, because you will eventually get extremely good at it and be able to take on more and more with less and less stress. Trust me.

Till later, Caio-

Posted in: , , , , on Wednesday, June 10, 2009 at at 10:13 AM 9 comments  

Story Telling

I used to love to listen to stories as a kid, sitting there on the edge of the bed and waiting for dad to come in to tell me a story. It didn't matter if it was about castles and kings, or if it was about his day at work and what he had done. In fact sometimes he came in and read moby dick to me, and even though I couldn't much understand it, I was content.


I start to wonder why I was content and what it was that made me so happy at a young age, even when I didn't understand half of my dad's stories in their entirety. Even now when I think about the tales of moby dick and cap'n Ahab, I get a little smile because they bring me back to when I was a kid again. And this made me start to think about why I liked the stories so much? And that's when it occurred to me that I didn't necessarily like the stories at all, but rather the story teller.

The story teller in this case was my dad, and it didn't really matter what he was sayin' or what part of the story he was talking about, but it was important that he was taking the time out at all to tell me one. And not only that, but he would tell the stories with vivid emotion and noticeably high differences in voice tone. He cared, and he was going to try and make me get 'into' his story, regardless of all the big words in that book which stretched far beyond my years at that time.

This act of telling a story, by my dad, would serve a far better purpose than only to entertain me at a young age before bedtime. I now know that it served a purpose to show me how to story tell and how use your hands, facial expressions and voice to get across your meaning in an extremely interesting way. It showed me that you need to believe in what you are saying, and to believe in yourself to best get your information across to your listener. Even if your listener is a 6 year old boy.

This lesson would be something that I have found is far more valuable now then I ever realized when I was 6 years old. I need to tell multiple stories to multiple people everyday, and because I had a great teacher, I can now myself tell great stories. Being a good story teller can help you in so many ways. Getting your point across has never been easier, and to be honest, telling stories is a lot of fun. I think I actually get more joy out of telling a story than the person listening to me that is laughing away.

You will come across many people in your life and you will find yourself in many situations where you will be listening to stories or telling them. These people will have interesting and unique stories to tell and you will learn and gain a lot from. And in this same time you will have many stories to tell as well and you will want to give your listeners the most information in the best possible way. So why not become a good story teller? Do your audience and friends along the way a favor and practice your story telling. You will be able to have that much more of an effect on your listeners and they will be greatly appreciative as well.

*raises glass of juice*

Here's to the story teller in you...

Posted in: , , , , , , , , , on Friday, May 29, 2009 at at 12:54 PM 9 comments  

I'll pass...

So I recently got the worse thing imaginable for a human to get, something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. I don't know how many of you out there have had this before, but it sucks and there isn't really anything you can do to prevent it, because it revolves around trust that each and everyone of us extends to someone else. (100% of the time actually)


Can you start taking a stab at what I;m thinking of yet?

Can you think of something that some of us do on a daily basis, and in fact all of us do this at least a few times a week, and we hardly ever know the person in which we put so much apparent trust in? That is essentially behind it.

I will give you a hint that will surely give it away, unless you already guessed it? And what this unimaginable thing has to do with is ..... FOOD! Specifically food from a restaurant or fast food joint. Somewhere we have to pay for it and trust the people making it that it is safe and good to eat. Why do we put this trust in these absolute strangers? Is it because we have no choice or is it because that's the way society has set it up? (If you want to eat away from home this is the only way to do it.)

Either way, take an extra glance at what goes in and out of your mouth next time and make sure it's cooked and prepared to YOUR standards. No need to risk it, trust me!

Because I recently got food poisoning from a local diner (actually the last 2 days) that I frequent often and probably over 100 times in the last year alone. They even know me and recognize me when I come in, but yet you still have to check whats set in front of you, no matter how hungry you are.

Just a word to the wise as I hope all of you can avoid this.

Ciao~

Posted in: , , , , , , , , on Wednesday, May 20, 2009 at at 10:27 PM 8 comments  

Searching for a meaning...

What is the point? To be more specific, why are we doing whatever it is that we do? Are we trying to achieve some goal or are we simply content with what we are doing now? ..Or are we completely unsure?

People have midlife crises and start wondering what their life is all about and what is/was their goal this whole time. Or was there one at all besides get old, get married and have a few kids along the way? I have met far too many people in my life that seem to not have one. Not really have something they are striving for, but more just moving along.

I mean don't get me wrong, I live 100% in the moment, but I have a goal. I know where it is that I want to get to, and I know what I have to do to get there. But at the same time if you plan or live too much for in the future you let here and now fly by without really 'living' each and every day and that's probably not what you want to do either.

So what I really want to get at is what is your goal? And if you can't answer that or you don't really know you should take some time to sit down and figure it out. Take a timeout sometime and really be a bit 'selfish' and try and discover just what exactly you want to do with your life. And after you have sat down and figured out that goal I want you to do one more thing. FORGET IT! Now before you think I am crazy just listen. I want you to forget it and make it higher. For example if you want to be a manager of some company, why not up the goal to CEO? Or better yet, one day try and own that company or start your own. Just try and shoot a bit higher than you even think you are capable of. You will thank yourself later for doing this. So literally shoot for the stars.

This goal has to be something that isn't easily attainable either. It has to be a 'dream goal', and most crazy cool people that live awesome lives started out with these high dreams. And all they did was reach them. And now that they have reached them they have some of the most fulfilling lives in the world. Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Bill Joy, 'your name'... be the next guy/girl to reach a crazy goal or exceed it.

I mean really.... "Why not?"

Posted in: , , , , , , , on Saturday, April 25, 2009 at at 9:07 PM 2 comments  

Confidence part #1

The most attractive trait on a male, picked by women: CONFIDENCE.


Confidence is something that needs to be developed and worked on to achieve, we just don't magically have it over night. It takes a driven personality to consistently push and persevere through all situations. A 'chin up' approach to life. There is a dash of bravery in there and experience only adds to the pie. You need a bit of all to make the recipe for confidence work for you.

You need to make a choice and follow through and succeed and win. You don't go looking to add confidence, instead you live your daily life and follow through and complete your goals and confidence will be a bi-product of your success. Yes I just said you are getting a 2 for 1 deal here.

Confidence is something that gets better with consistently finishing the race, but not ONLY finishing but doing well. I mean why not win the race and see how you feel afterwards. I bet you will feel like superman after he saves the world and gets the girl. (Yes there is always a girl.. haha) You need to prepare for the race though, you can't just show up and expect to do well, you need to practice and train, and be mentally prepared for the bumps along the way. And why do we put ourselves through these races anyways? Because most of us love the challenge and want to succeed, nothing is much sweeter than the taste of victory or feeling of accomplishment.

I mean what did you feel like after you graduated high school or college? Relief? Confident that you finished? Happiness? I mean whatever it is you felt it was certainly a good feeling and one that is addicting and one that you want to visit again soon. And the more you do it and the more you succeed, the more your confidence will soar... believe me... I know this first hand.

You can't let life happen, you have to go out and make it happen. You have to wake up in the morning and say, "today is great and I am glad to be alive"then walk to the bathroom and say, "I can't wait to do X, Y and Z..." and after that make yourself some awesome waffles to get you started on the right track. Be proactive and go out and 'get it'...

This new added confidence you have will only make you that much more awesome. You will be able to get that guy or girl (or at least talk to her finally) and you will be able to start a race without the worry of wondering if you will finish or not. Confidence is a great thing and I guarantee once you have it you will never lose it.

And Yep! That's where I'll stop today... , don't want to give too many of my awesome hints away.. *wink wink* Although it is Friday, which is normally an awesome day, so that's why I feel the need to share more.

Ciao-

Posted in: , , , , , , , on Friday, March 27, 2009 at at 2:54 PM 4 comments  

Let's hear it

Alright alright, I am going to try this once and see how it works, because I haven’t done it yet but a few of you might get a kick out of it at my expense.. *hopes he doesn’t regret this*

So I know I cruise around being a crazy blogger and talking about all these random subjects which range from drunken stupors in college to my love/hate relationship with the internet. And I consistently talk about awesome things which could make life better and things that other people could do, but what about some reflection time?

What could I do to make this blog better?

Could “Mr. 24/7 Awesomeness” talk about dating topics more, or how girls really rule this world and men just live in it? Or is it better if I try to make this more personal and you can get a closer glimpse into ‘who the crap is this crazy 10 year old’ behind the keyboard? Give me some hints or tell me to go more left or right, I am curious to know your thoughts?

So the pressure is on, speak up? This is your chance for you to say what’s on your mind?

The good the bad and the ugly…. (I’m waiting..)

Ciao..

Posted in: , , , , , on Friday, March 20, 2009 at at 2:31 PM 3 comments  

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