24-7 Pure Awesomeness...

My first game with the team since I took over coaching Herzogenbuchsee Lacrosse in Switzerland. It was the first real test my boys were going up against since I had tried to teach them the basics of this sport and the basics of team play and camaraderie. It was the the first test for me as a trainer, the game had a whole bunch of meanings for me. I was filled with a whole bunch of different emotions as we took the field and started to warm up before the game. Technically we had been at the field for 3 hours already setting everything up, but now people were starting to show up and I was starting to feel the butterflies in my stomach and the anticipation growing from within.

Was a cool feeling overall and nothing like what I had previously felt before. I mean I had never been a "full-time coach" before. I had simply been a helper and an assistant, someone who could help teach but more or less be there to support the coaches wishes. So to me this day had a completely different feel, a feeling of a true reflections on what I had taught the boys over the last 1.5 months or so that we had to prepare for this game.

-I hoped everything I taught them sunk in?

-I hope they remembered everything and didn't let their own emotions get the best of them?

-How was this game going to turn out?

Lots of questions were going to be answered by the end of the day, that was for sure. I half wondered if the boys even knew how to win? I mean they had experienced 2 seasons worth of games without a single win. I mean, sure they had scored some goals, but mostly they had been slaughtered by the other teams in the league. Basically if you had a coach and could throw and catch the ball with a little bit of togetherness and understood some plays, then you could beat the Herzogenbuchsee Lacrosse team.

Either way there was nothing more I could do about it now, it was game day, they needed to do it on their own and win for themselves. Just had to apply some of the basics I taught them and they would be alright. Or so I hoped?

Basically the pregame warm up went well and the pre-game prep talk went like this below, however I had to say it in my half-German-half-Swiss slang that I had acquired as there was very few English speakers on the team...

I have a few goals for us guys:

1) Hustle, 110% always

2) Mentality, "Win every ground ball.."

3) Have some fun and play as team, watch each others backs.

And with those three points being said it was already time for the opening faceoffs...

...was I ready?

(To be continued...)

Now there seems to be a lot of grey area on this subject, the middle ground seems to be quite large as to when you cross the line and when you haven't. When you start to gloat about how good you are, or were, as opposed to just confident and good at what you do, or have done in the past.

I think this grey area is definable and at least able to narrow down the subject of being humble or cocky a bit more. And what I mean by that is that this grey area is completely subjective to each person in the way that it is defined by his or her own definition of egotistical vs. humble. This didn't become apparent to me until I had a conversation last week about what someone else viewed as egotistic and not confident, and that their view was completely different than my own. We used an example about another person and how good they were at a particular sport. (should be easy for everyone to relate to this) I thought this person was good at what they did and were also confident that they played it well. Where as my counter-arguer thought the other person was being egotistical because they knew they were better and acted as such. (Basically they liked to talk about the good games they had with others)

This is where I started to think about why some people put alot more people in the ego category than in the humble category. It's almost as if some people refrain from using the word humble to describe someone for only a select few? The chosen extreme humble ones, and that all the other ones got thrown into the grey area or all the way into the ego category. What's up with that? I felt as though it was a mild attack on people with confidence. And more so that if you knew you were good at something you couldn't be confident in it... or you run the risk of looking cocky or over confident.

Where is that grey line again?

So I started to think a bit more about this and one of my friends told me the other day that their definition of egotism vs confidence is simple. It's like this: Confidence is when you are good at something and know it, but don't use that to make yourself more superior than others. You don't tell others that you are better than someone else because you are better at a certain sport, photography, cooking, etc. If you know it, that's cool, and it's even cool to share your big victories and good things you have done or even won, but as soon as you start to think that you are better than another person, (possibly someone who is less gifted) then that's where it crosses into egotistical. When you think you are a better 'person' because of your god given talent, etc. That's when it crosses from one side to another.

And to me that was a good explanation and definition of confident vs. humble. I don't think you should ever suppress the victories you have achieved or the goals or events you have won, but I also don't think that you should make others feel inadequate that you can do one thing better than them. It should more sharing than a 'look at me' festival.

Maybe the difference is talking about it vs. gloating about it? Or maybe you know a person that always has to be first and never wants to show a weakness? It could even be in the way you say it? I don't know, but either way there is a fine line between being humble and being egotistical, and I think how you define the two is ultimately going to lead to what side you will be on when listening to someone else's story about the game winning goal they scored.

My question: Do you find more people egotistical or just plain confident? And is your view a reflection on you? (Maybe you are less fortunate at sports, so when you see a good athlete and they talk about how well they did, you feel a bit jealous? Just a thought)

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And just as a side note, have you ever had the girl or guy that comes around and just looks for the compliments that they know you will dish out time and time again? Why do we always tell them good job, or tell them how good they look? Some of us are really good ego 'strokers' at times.. oops.