Jealousy, it's here to stay...

The feeling of jealousy, where does it come from? Why does it creep into our thoughts and sneak up on us when we least expect it? It's like a lingering bad guy that just waits and waits and waits, hoping for the right moment to show itself comes along. It's the bad guy that you love to hate, the one that is truly 'unwelcome'.


We all have this feeling programmed into our brains and hardwired into our systems better than a mother board into it's computer. We actually can't really get rid of it, only suppress it. However there are some of us who express feeling no jealousy at all, but these are the lucky few. Jealousy is something that is seen at a very young age in children even. Think of a 2 year old when they realize that they are about to have a baby sister, or when they finally think about having to share their toys, food, or even their own mother with another baby. This is why we need to teach children at such a young age to share toys, their mother, their fathers, etc.

Jealousy is something that is reinforced in society and even sometimes put on a pedestal. We back jealousy by saying to everyone, "Look.. there is a soul mate out there for you and you will find them..." Give me a break, seriously? We set up jealousy on a silver platter, no wonder people get jealous when they think they found Ms. Perfect. I would be protective as well if I thought there was one and ONLY one out there. (By the sarcasm in my voice you can tell I don't believe in this all that much, understatement) In fact I can take this one step further, we even justify jealousy in our society. I read about some old court cases in Texas that involved a man killing his wife for cheating on him and he wasn't found guilty for murder?? How does that work? Obviously things have changed a bit and today he would have been accused of murder, but still, that was only back in the 1970's.

Jealousy is not a rational impulse folks, but it is a human one. It is thought of by some researchers as a primitive feeling, one that helps explain the fight or flight instinct we have programmed in us, which originally came from a time when safety and survival were scarce. But I don't really want to go in that direction concerning jealousy.

I want to talk about jealousy in and of itself and the fact that it has and will always be there. It will wait for a moment to rear it's ugly head and take control of you in the littlest ways by eating at you. Maybe you catch an extra glance or a small hug that lingers a bit too long? Then instantly that thought pops into your head that something could be going on and you start entertaining the idea. Why do you do this though? Before you know it you start getting angry and making small comments and stupid remarks all because of this tiny feeling of jealousy, despite everything pointing the other direction. Yes jealousy can get you all messed up, so the best thing to do is to try and stay rational, to try and not act upon emotion or instantaneously pass judgement. Take a breath, relax, let the jealousy monster pass, because more often than not it's not worth it.

And jealousy isn't something you are going to avoid and it's not about how or when it happens, but it's how you deal with it that does.

Last point, the thing that can combat this feeling is trust. We need trust and have to have it, it helps control the feeling of jealousy...

Trust me...

[end rant]

Ciao~

Posted in: , , , , , , , , , , , on Tuesday, September 22, 2009 at at 3:46 PM 0 comments  

Women: The curse

Women are great, they are remarkable and they can get men to do amazing things. We would go to the "moon and back" for women or try to accomplish the impossible, with certain failure being inevitable. But if you look at the flip side, they can drag us to the depths of hell with the most innocent of looks, the tiniest kiss or the flirtatious batting of the eyes. Women can even commit crimes without even lifting a finger, hell we do it for them... all they have to do is ask.


Every guy knows it's true and everyone has had an instance where they have gone against all morals, all good reasoning and judgement to do something for a girl. I can't even tell you the amount of times where a 'cute look' has gotten me to do something stupid for a girl. It's not even like we have to do it for love or because we need too, we do it because "she" asked. I mean tell that to the judge when you get caught for stealing a rose from someones garden, all just to impress a girl.

I would like to say that we think with our heads most of the time, but with women for sure we think with the wrong head 85% of the time when doing these stupid things. Men are dumb, dumb creatures at times and we can be persuaded to do even stupider things when asked by a cute girl.

Girls will for sure shave their legs, starve themselves, dress cute for us, but guys will lie, steal, cheat, murder and even give our right 'you know what' for you.
[...but I still like them..]

Posted in: , , , , , , on Monday, September 21, 2009 at at 10:32 AM 9 comments  

Swiss Lacrosse Part 3

Down.....Set....... *whistle*


The first faceoff was a clean win for us, not a bad way to start. We moved the ball down the field and got everything settled down by working the ball around the outside perimeter. There was a comfortable feeling already taking over, even after the first minute and the guys seemed excited to be playing and even more so to deploy their newly acquired skills that they had learned over the previous 1.5 months.

A few more passes, a pick here and there and the game started to open up for us in the offensive zone. A few guys had some early open looks, but nothing found the back of the net. The confidence at this point was building and you could feel it, I mean even the 30 or so fans that turned up were started to get a bit excited. You could tell that the guys had raised the bar and the expectations of the team were somehow nothing less than a victory for this game against Basel. I don't think the guys wanted to settle for less...

A few more changes of possession happened, our defense stood tall, and then finally after about 9 minutes of play there was a quick play from up top to a down low cutter by the crease and the ball flew past the goalie, top right, for a quick 1-0 score. There was a big celebration on the field as this team wasn't really known for it's scoring capabilities prior to this game. (3 or 4 goals total the entire season up to this point)

Herzogenbuchsee seemed to get a huge lift from that first goal and it never seemed to let up. The next faceoff was a clean win again, in fact I don't think Basel had won a single one the whole day? Today wasn't about Basel, it was about the Iroquois H'buchsee boys showing themselves that they were better than what the 2 previous years had shown, and the score quickly showed it. After one quarter it was 4-0 in favor of the Iroquois. That was equal to their entire years total with all the other games combined.

The next 2 quarters went by extremely fast with only a few penalties from each side creating the stoppages. I just kept telling the guys to keep giving it 110%, don't stop, every ball is ours and we were going to make sure we didn't give them a chance to get back into the game. Perhaps it was a bit much to tell them to keep putting them in the net, but the guys earned the right in my eyes to show what they could do, to show what they had learned.

9-2 after 3 quarters, the guys could feel the upper hand that they had at this point. All they had to do keep up the same intensity and hang on for one more quarter and they would have their first victory of their clubs existence. A pretty good feat for a group of guys that just thought this sport looked cool a couple years earlier and decided one day to buy some sticks...
The last quarter was a good one and hard fought, but it was obvious what the outcome was going to be as Basel slowly got out-hustled to the ground balls and in turn watch their chances to win the game slip away.

*whistle* game over... end score 14-2 in favor of the home team. Happy faces all around, hugs, handshakes and a job well done.

Finally I felt a big relief and deep breath find it's way out of my lungs. The first test was over, but it was just the beginning...
(To be continued)

Posted in: , , , , , , , , , , on Thursday, September 10, 2009 at at 1:06 PM 5 comments  

Swiss Lacrosse Part 2

August 9th, 2009.


My first game with the team since I took over coaching Herzogenbuchsee Lacrosse in Switzerland. It was the first real test my boys were going up against since I had tried to teach them the basics of this sport and the basics of team play and camaraderie. It was the the first test for me as a trainer, the game had a whole bunch of meanings for me. I was filled with a whole bunch of different emotions as we took the field and started to warm up before the game. Technically we had been at the field for 3 hours already setting everything up, but now people were starting to show up and I was starting to feel the butterflies in my stomach and the anticipation growing from within.

Was a cool feeling overall and nothing like what I had previously felt before. I mean I had never been a "full-time coach" before. I had simply been a helper and an assistant, someone who could help teach but more or less be there to support the coaches wishes. So to me this day had a completely different feel, a feeling of a true reflections on what I had taught the boys over the last 1.5 months or so that we had to prepare for this game.

-I hoped everything I taught them sunk in?
-I hope they remembered everything and didn't let their own emotions get the best of them?
-How was this game going to turn out?

Lots of questions were going to be answered by the end of the day, that was for sure. I half wondered if the boys even knew how to win? I mean they had experienced 2 seasons worth of games without a single win. I mean, sure they had scored some goals, but mostly they had been slaughtered by the other teams in the league. Basically if you had a coach and could throw and catch the ball with a little bit of togetherness and understood some plays, then you could beat the Herzogenbuchsee Lacrosse team.

Either way there was nothing more I could do about it now, it was game day, they needed to do it on their own and win for themselves. Just had to apply some of the basics I taught them and they would be alright. Or so I hoped?

Basically the pregame warm up went well and the pre-game prep talk went like this below, however I had to say it in my half-German-half-Swiss slang that I had acquired as there was very few English speakers on the team...

I have a few goals for us guys:
1) Hustle, 110% always
2) Mentality, "Win every ground ball.."
3) Have some fun and play as team, watch each others backs.

And with those three points being said it was already time for the opening faceoffs...

...was I ready?

(To be continued...)

Posted in: , , , , , , , , , on Tuesday, September 8, 2009 at at 2:02 PM 6 comments  

Swiss Lacrosse part 1

Lacrosse: A sport that is relatively unknown in Switzerland, but is starting to grow at a rapid pace. A sport of high intensity, filled with big hits, fast shots and full body contact.

This sport is one that I started coaching about 4 months ago in Switzerland and one that I have loved every minute of. Picture this: A group of around 6-10 guys on a regular basis that are trying to throw this little round pellet around as fast as they can without any real indication of which way is actually correct and which way is not. Then enters this American who doesn’t really have much experience, just a little more than a year or so in the states playing Lacrosse, and decides that he wants to help these guys learn to play as a team and not 10 individuals trying to put the ball in the net themselves.

I was definitely not an expert at this sport, but I have a real passion and love for team sports and was fortunate enough to play many team sports growing up in high school and in college. Starting with hockey when I was only 3 years old, which I still play today, along with American football among other sports.

I have had a lot of chances to teach kids before, but never really a full on chance to coach a bunch of guys around the similar age of myself. I mean what could I teach people in America, especially people my same age? Well here it’s different; the concept of team sports isn’t explained as well to them. I see many Europeans as individuals before I see them as a team. The concepts are known, but they don’t practice them, and I know for experience that these are things you need to learn and re-learn to really understand them.

So that was my chance to teach these Swiss guys about Lacrosse. I was bound and determined to take this little Herzogenbuchsee Lacrosse team, which had never won a game before in their team history, and make something out of them. I mean just by looking around that first day I could see that there was talent in the room, but no leadership or any concept of what the word “team” really meant. I mean when you work together it’s amazing what you can accomplish.

To be continued……….

Posted in: , , , , , , , on Thursday, September 3, 2009 at at 9:19 AM 3 comments  

Break in Technology

Finally back after an extended vacation where I got to hang out with the coolest guy in the world.... my dad.


Anyways I was just chilling minding my own business being cool and writing some emails when I got a work related email from a colleague that got me thinking about technology and age and more specifically how they relate. Now this gentleman is about 55 or so and is in the generation above me which means that we have a lot of differing features in the way we read, write, speak, etc. and I think most people would agree that there are huge difference from generation to generation. And after reading this email, for me, that was ever so evident.

While reading this email I got this feeling that this person was extremely angry with someone else, (not me, I was just copied on it) but when I talked to the individual that wrote it he kind of chuckled and laughed explaining that it wasn't supposed to be in an angry tone at all.. I kind of looked puzzled as I thought back to what he had wrote and the tone in which I felt it was written in. Hmm, really was he that oblivious to how the email read?

You can probably all think of a friend that you know that doesn't write emails all that much or writes in one sentence formats, and sometimes that is too much. I have seen as little as 3 or less word answers and the author behind these emails generally thinks that is enough to answer the 4 questions you wrote to them above. Really??

Now email has a many advantages such as; response time, quicker than writing, fast delivery, etc. But there are also disadvantages which include; the inability to always express the tone of your writing (especially if you from an older generation), lost emails or intercepted ones, falsely written email addresses, etc. I mean think about it, we are long overdue for someone to make a "sarcasm color rule," I mean why can't someone make a rule that when you are joking you need to write your comment in green. Pretty simple eh?

Anyways just wanted to chat a bit about the inability for some people to communicate successfully the way they want to through the Internet. For me it's easy to see a generational gap which lines up quite nicely to way people can or can't write emails.

Get with the times old people.... geeez. :P

Posted in: , , , , on Monday, August 24, 2009 at at 2:34 PM 4 comments  

Imagination 2.0

It’s 1988, you are still just a little tyke and you are walking around wearing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle underwear and superman T-shirts covered in ketchup stains. You are sitting in the sandbox playing with your Tonka truck, big yellow style bulldozing toys. Thinking about digging your way to China crosses your mind a few times, but at this age it’s not China, it’s your grandma’s house as you don’t know much else. You start to make noises in your head and mimic the sounds that you think the trucks are supposed to make, it comes out of your mouth in changing pitches of “brrrmmm” and “pshhh” as you push the toy back and forth and make them crash into each other. You have this whole imaginary world going on in your head where everything makes sense, and if it doesn’t who cares, you just assign some imaginary thing to whatever it is that you don’t understand and go along playing some more.

Life is great, life is easy, life is, as explained by Forrest Gump, “Like a box of chocolates, you never know what yer gunna get..” But at this age it doesn’t matter what you get because you are happy with it. And if you don’t have something you want you just make it up in your head with your imagination and go from there. Simple. Easy. Imaginative.

Where does this skill of being imaginative go when we get older? Where does the feeling of being able to be happy with whatever it is that someone sets in front of you go? We seem to lose it, but why?

Is it because we get older and reality hits us? Because we have bills to pay and work to do and the strain of everyday life or everyday realisms hit us like a ton of bricks? We possibly start to trick ourselves that only things that are monetary can bring us happiness. We need to buy this motorcycle or this car to be happy. The trip to the Maldives is the only ways that I would be able to get some relief from everyday life, etc. Why is that, why do we get into this type of rut?


It seems as though the “simply happinesses” that we were once accustomed to having every minute of everyday are now no more. We can’t imagine anymore about digging in the sandbox and trying to get to grandma’s house. Logic seems to get in the way and we know it’s not actually possible and if it was, it sure isn’t realistic. At least not unless you have a tunnel drilling machine. So with that being said, does that mean that we have become too smart to imagine things for happiness? Or the only way we can use our imagination for happiness is for a quick joke or if we are possibly a great inventor?

Who knows, I am just to get to the bottom of one aspect of people being happy because of reasons that don’t revolve around money, physical property or beauty. It seems it’s quite hard to do, especially if you cut out family and friends. Can we be happy by ourselves?

Just something to munch on during your hump day……

Posted in: , , , on Wednesday, August 5, 2009 at at 10:51 AM 7 comments  

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