Showing posts with label try. Show all posts
Showing posts with label try. Show all posts

Jealousy, it's here to stay...

The feeling of jealousy, where does it come from? Why does it creep into our thoughts and sneak up on us when we least expect it? It's like a lingering bad guy that just waits and waits and waits, hoping for the right moment to show itself comes along. It's the bad guy that you love to hate, the one that is truly 'unwelcome'.


We all have this feeling programmed into our brains and hardwired into our systems better than a mother board into it's computer. We actually can't really get rid of it, only suppress it. However there are some of us who express feeling no jealousy at all, but these are the lucky few. Jealousy is something that is seen at a very young age in children even. Think of a 2 year old when they realize that they are about to have a baby sister, or when they finally think about having to share their toys, food, or even their own mother with another baby. This is why we need to teach children at such a young age to share toys, their mother, their fathers, etc.

Jealousy is something that is reinforced in society and even sometimes put on a pedestal. We back jealousy by saying to everyone, "Look.. there is a soul mate out there for you and you will find them..." Give me a break, seriously? We set up jealousy on a silver platter, no wonder people get jealous when they think they found Ms. Perfect. I would be protective as well if I thought there was one and ONLY one out there. (By the sarcasm in my voice you can tell I don't believe in this all that much, understatement) In fact I can take this one step further, we even justify jealousy in our society. I read about some old court cases in Texas that involved a man killing his wife for cheating on him and he wasn't found guilty for murder?? How does that work? Obviously things have changed a bit and today he would have been accused of murder, but still, that was only back in the 1970's.

Jealousy is not a rational impulse folks, but it is a human one. It is thought of by some researchers as a primitive feeling, one that helps explain the fight or flight instinct we have programmed in us, which originally came from a time when safety and survival were scarce. But I don't really want to go in that direction concerning jealousy.

I want to talk about jealousy in and of itself and the fact that it has and will always be there. It will wait for a moment to rear it's ugly head and take control of you in the littlest ways by eating at you. Maybe you catch an extra glance or a small hug that lingers a bit too long? Then instantly that thought pops into your head that something could be going on and you start entertaining the idea. Why do you do this though? Before you know it you start getting angry and making small comments and stupid remarks all because of this tiny feeling of jealousy, despite everything pointing the other direction. Yes jealousy can get you all messed up, so the best thing to do is to try and stay rational, to try and not act upon emotion or instantaneously pass judgement. Take a breath, relax, let the jealousy monster pass, because more often than not it's not worth it.

And jealousy isn't something you are going to avoid and it's not about how or when it happens, but it's how you deal with it that does.

Last point, the thing that can combat this feeling is trust. We need trust and have to have it, it helps control the feeling of jealousy...

Trust me...

[end rant]

Ciao~

Posted in: , , , , , , , , , , , on Tuesday, September 22, 2009 at at 3:46 PM 0 comments  

Compliments

Try this sometime.

I know that compliments are awesome and that they make someone feel better, but there is a bit of a catch to it, and that comes from how you administer one and when.

You need to say one at an unexpected time, because like an attack from an opposing army that is expecting it, it doesn't work so well if at all if it is premeditated. *cue rolling eyes from the recipient* You also need to to be honest about the comment and not over do it. People know when you are pushing it and aren't oblivious to overwhelming compliments. In fact they do the opposite and normally make the person mad. So instead of doing that, be honest like the person below...

(A couple shopping together, you can guess who is who, real story)
person 1: Do you think I should try this dress on?
person 2: Yeah it looks good on the rack...
person 1: (after changing and a bit unsure) What do you think?
person 2: Well it looked good on the rack..
person 1: (no response, just a stare. . .) okay, remind me to never go shopping with you again.

I know this wasn't the response that person 1 was looking for but it's a helluva a lot better then being a liar, plus you don't feel bad afterwards, because it was the truth. Person 1 will understand and thank you for not letting them purchase a green spotted dress with purple colors mixed in.

What I am getting at is simple though. Give compliments when they should be given. You need to recognize people if you're a manager and say "thanks", I mean it's not very hard and it means alot to your co-worker. You create a better work place and they feel appreciated, and you better believe they will remember. Give compliments that are meaningful and show you actually care, people remember these for years on end if they are given with true sincerity and mean alot when you give them to the people who are close to you.

I don't want to get all sappy and crap, because I am not good at it, but you get the point. And that's be awesome and make other people feel awesome with you. That way you can create an awesome clan and rule the world..! (falls off soapbox)

Da_mn I am starting to sound all 'self help-ish', hahaha.. I need to get back to my normal ways, talk to you later...

Posted in: , , , on Monday, March 16, 2009 at at 10:29 AM 0 comments  

Positive vs. Negative

I am going to steal an idea from my buddy over at Awesomeness Inc, while putting my own twist on it of course.. haha. *sticks tongue out*

I got a comment about a post I wrote yesterday and this person managed to pull out a negative point in a post that was strictly supposed to be happy and nothing else? So I started thinking about myself and was wondering, "am I really posting negative things and writing about mind numbing ideas that make people get down?"

I don't think so? I mean tell me if I am wrong, but my main goal is to write awesome things and to give you guys something to munch on for a mid-lunch snack while you are working at the office or babysitting some crazy monkeys? (don't know what it is that you do.. you see I'm guessing)

So it got me thinking further about negative vs. positive. I think you need to have a positive mindset to even see the positive parts in a piece of writing, and if you have negative thoughts already flowing in your head, you will only be able to pick out the negative parts. Sounds simple and logical right?

I mean I try to wake up like my buddy 'A.I.' and I try to say "today is going to be a great day!" everyday I wake up. I mean I think I probably smile in my sleep and that's the way I like it. I like that happiness is contagious and that I can spread it like a disease.. haaha (watch out) You better all catch it too. If one of you walks away with a smile after reading about something good or about a thought you got from here, then I am stoked. (tell me about it, I would love to hear)

But on the other side of it if you are one of those chronic negative people, and I know you all just thought of someone you know that is negative 90+ percent of the time you see them, then I don't have time for you. I can handle a little negativity here and some there, but if you are throwing it in my face every waking minute I see you then I don't have the time for you. I mean if I could help I would, but these people really don't want help, they just want to be miserable to let the whole world know it. (please do the rest of us happy normal people a favor and leave us alone)

Here, I have a 24/7 awesomeness proposal for you. Try it! I want you to try to be happy even when shitty things happen, look at the good side for once. Look at the fact that you should be happy that you even woke up this morning, because you know and I know not everyone woke up from last night. And think about positive thoughts for a day, and this starts from the moment you get up... look in the mirror while brushing your teeth and say "today is a good day" just do it, just try it..

.. be awesome!

Ciao!

Posted in: , , , on Friday, March 13, 2009 at at 9:07 AM 6 comments  

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