Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts

What is College? Part 2

So here's what I like to call the 'should I have 1 more?' scenario in college It's a scenario that I am sure happened to you 5 or more times...:


You are chilling at your dorm watching your favorite episode of family guy, grubbing on a piece of cold pizza from last night that didn't get eaten. (rarely does this happen) The door is locked and you are drinking just one beer and you look down at your watch and see it's 11:30pm so you're going to call it a night and get to bed early. I mean why not, it is Thursday after all and your bed looks as comfy as a dorm bed can look..

..Then you hear the *knock knock* at the door and it's your best bud and 3 or 4 other guys behind him saying your name and begging you to go out with them for 'thirsty Thursdays' at sally's steakhouse/bar & grill/strip club shack. That's when you can either accept or ... yeah accept. Either way you're screwed because you know they won't leave without you.

You quick turn off the T.V. and throw on your pants and buckle your belt as your telling them to hold the fu** on. You can't really decide what shirt to wear, nor did you actually care 5 minutes ago, but nevertheless it takes you a good 4 minutes to grab one and throw some gel in your hair along with shoes that probably don't match. "whatever, who cares..." you mutter to yourself as you open the door and your friends 'high 5' you and then proceed to tell you that you're driving because they have no gas in any of their cars. (go figure right?)

You pile 5 guys into your little 4 person Oldsmobile 88' and head off to the bar. On the way there you find yourself screaming the lyrics to Nirvana, cranked up until the speakers feel like they are going to blow, and this is the point that you start to think "it will be alright.. just a quick couple drinks and out... whats the harm? I love my buddies!"

You pull into Sally's and everyone piles out and starts to point at the 3 hot girls that are exiting the bar.. err wait, I mean the 1 hot girl and 2 ugly friends. (don't ask why this is the case) Then you proceed to enter where you see it's basically packed and you quickly realize that you know practically everyone there. It's going to be a great night, could even possibly find a cute girl!

You order a beer, after all it's $2.00 taps and all you can eat $5.00 wings.. but before you even get to taste your first beer your buddy comes from behind you and puts a shot of Bacardi 151 with Tabasco in front of you and the others. (prairie fire shot) You try to refuse, but that's to no avail as you decide to knock it back anyways, especially because the girl across the bar is looking at you. At this point you're not sure if she is cute.. hmm..

So you down a few more beers, take a couple more shots and chow down on wings until you want to literally burst. But whatever, you are feeling good despite the fact that you can't stop burping and your shirt looks like you dropped half a bottle of ketchup on it because the wing sauce was so runny.

This is when you get some guts and go over to see if that girl you spotted earlier was hot or not. I mean after all she was checking you out right? So you make it over there and after making a complete fool of yourself you proclaim she is ugly anyways in front of all her friends you stumble back to your side of the bar. You're a bit mad when you sit down, but whatever you got your buddies there, and low and behold there is another shot coming your way.

This time it's a shot of Tequila and you don't really want it and start to ask yourself should I take 1 more? But after getting called a pus** 5 times by your buddies you decide to knock it back, I mean what harm can it do?

Man were you wrong... the next thing you remember is you trying to slur some words about puking all over yourself and how a girl on the other side of the bar you talked to earlier wanted your number and you want to go see her again. The next parts get a bit sketchy. You remember waking up with your head out the window twice. Once at a stoplight and the next time as you are going through a neighborhood. The taste of puke is still on your breath. You're starting to regret that 'last shot' you decided to take because you wanted to prove your buddies wrong and show them you can drink the most without throwing up. Then you pass out again.

You finally open your eyes laying on your side in the fetal position because the sun is up and shining down on your face. Man does that suck, so you jump in your bed all the while wondering how the heck you made it back to your room and who drove your car home last night? fu** it, you are too tired at this point to care about your car keys, or the fact that you are completely naked and freezing because you had no blanket around you. That's when you pass out again.

You wake up again and it's 6:30pm on Friday evening. You didn't make it to any classes and you just remembered you had a quiz in chem class today too. You rub your eyes and stand up. Still naked you stumble around your room looking for your towel to take a shower with, you find it and head to the bathroom. Someone laughs at the sight of you on the way there, but you pay no attention to it. You get in the bathroom and look in the mirror, and that's when you realize you have permanent marker all over your face and you are missing one eyebrow because it got shaved off the night before. "Fu**!"

First you think "whatever" but then those feelings quickly turn to anger as you swear to get your buddies back. After the shower you think to yourself that you will NEVER DRINK ALCOHOL again because you see what happened last time... (that last phrase is one you will say a 100 times in your college career)

..You go back to your room and lay down and turn on family guy and proceed to watch the next episode, but that's when you hear it again.. *knock knock* "Come on buddy lets go get drunk again!" You quickly swear at them and tell them to go away, knowing damn well that they will be back again to harass you.
You start to fall asleep again, as you're completely hung over, but then start to realize that it is Friday after all. And who stays in on a Friday? .. haha...
(and so it start again)

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And this is the vicious cycle of college drinking. But whatever you only live once right? So go out and drink a beer and make a fool of yourself, while swearing never to drink again the next day.

So lets hear it... you have any stories of college that won't ever be forgotten because they were embarrassing of just plain bad a_ss? :D

Hahaha...

Posted in: , , , , , , , on Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at at 7:19 PM 5 comments  

What is college?

Lets take a flash back in time and talk about exactly that, what was college?

First thing that comes to mind in one word is “blur”. College was a time when it didn’t matter how much you drank, how stupid you acted or what party you attended last night but that you at least made an appearance there and managed to make it outside before vomiting on the front lawn. (Bonus points for not spilling your beer through all of this)

Yes this is a time in our lives were there is a lot of regretting, a lot of forgetting (due to alcohol) and even more missed classes then the kid who actually had mono. This was a time where you are supposed to enjoy your life, the fun years, where you make friends, have endless freedom until getting caught by the police, laugh you’re a_ss off, never sleep, eat shitty cafeteria food and gain 10, err umm.. 5 lbs, and most of all figure out more about yourself then you could have ever imagined possible. (This includes realizing that 'yes' you indead are not a morning person)

During this time you will most certainly skip classes, miss tests because of a guy named Jack Daniels, swear off drinking 10+ times as you are driving the porcelain bus, have moments of pure ecstasy because you finally understand differential equations (diffy Q), and experience the emotions of defeat as well as the ‘highs’ of winning..(a game of beer pong)

*takes a moment*

Man beer pong was fun, just wanted to take a second and think about it and laugh. Who knew college kids would eventually be the prime supporters of ping pong balls and plastic cups? Haha..

My personal Experiences in college included crazy events such as streaking in broad daylight (alcohol recommended for this one, and shoes) tail-gating for a big game and not even making it into the stadium because sleeping on the pavement seemed like a better idea, late night eating binges that involved some funky green stuff, and crashing a $500,000 B-172 Cessna. (e-mail me with questions on that last one) So you see all of us have had crazy experiences in college, and this is the time to do it because you can’t get away with the same shjt at 25 or 30 years of age. Trust me. So enjoy it while it lasts, and don’t miss a thing.

In some sort of a conclusion to this, I just want to say if you haven’t been to college yet, enjoy it. They will be some of the most memorable years in your life. Or the ones you can’t remember, haha. Either way you learn how to learn. You jump through hoops and pass tests all in search of a piece of paper that says, finished. But it’s a whole lot deeper than that, it’s a time of finding yourself and learning as much as you can about the world, girls and alcohol. (More the last 2, but you get the point.)

And for those of you who have gone through college I hope you had as good of a time as I did and I hope I provided a laugh for you in reading this… hahaha! (Or I just managed to steal some of your time in the day.. *sticks out tongue*) Either way I am sure you experienced what we like to call 'college', but we really can refer to it as a ‘blur’ when being honest to ourselves..

Posted in: , , , , on Tuesday, March 17, 2009 at at 9:04 AM 3 comments  

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